Alternative Title:
What the F*** am I Doing?
This is a legitimate question.
Ok, so I'm a history major. That's all well and good, but school has the capacity to hold my interest maybe for about one minute. On a good day. Most of the time I'm just dragging myself out of bed to make it to class late.
I really don't know what I'm going to do after college or in what way a history degree could actually be helpful.
People keep telling me I should teach but hello? I barely made it through grade school a first time! I'm not going back!
Then there's crew.
As you probably know, if you've been reading this blog, I've been having issues with crew lately.
And because this is public I can't really go into specifics, but suffice to say that I've been struggling with authority figures for a good 3 years now and I'm starting to doubt my abilities in this sport because of that. I'm starting to worry that I won't be able to make it as a coach because I'll have a bad reputation. I know I'm a coxswain, but I feel that I'm in a position where I have no power and I'm just a scapegoat.
So I'm don't feel that I'm doing a great job for whatever reasons. And other things that I used to do, I've given up so I could focus on school or crew.
I don't really even know who I am anymore.
I don't know what I'm doing or what I want to do
It's all a bit much, really.
Sigh
-EMME
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