Murphy's Law, while generally true and pertinent many times in life, takes on a whole new meaning as a coxswain. Especially on days like today, when the crewniverse is conspiring against you. (Yup, I did make that word up, and yup, it means exactly what it sounds like. Crewniverse= crew universe. What? Like there's any other one?) Anyway, today we left 2 hours and fifteen minutes before practice started. What should be a 20 minute drive took, oh, you know, a measly three hours.
Boston traffic is ridiculous. I wish this boathouse was more convenient! Basically, it is on the opposite side of the city from where I live this summer- literally complete opposite ends. So anyway, I was a bit late, and I HATE being late. Well, actually, I hate being late to practice or regattas or hangouts with friends. I've been known to show up to classes late on purpose so I wouldn't have to sit through the whole thing.
Ok.
Sue me.
Short attention span here, people.
Anyway, I have this terrible habit of scratching my neck when I get nervous, and I don't realize I'm doing it until I'm already caught in this mindless loop of anxious neck-scratching and if there's one thing that makes me nervous, it's not doing anything and that's exactly what you do in traffic, so by the time I got to practice (I was only about 10-15 min late) my neck was practically bleeding and I was kind of frazzled because, if you'll refer back to the previous sentence, inefficiency is probably my number one enemy and makes me cranky and nervous and it should not take 3 hours for a 20min drive people!
But that was just the beginning.
I hopped in the 4+ right as it was launching. First, my bow seat could not move her foot stretchers so they were in the wrong place all practice. Then, I realized the wires were all tangled up so I couldn't sit comfortably. While I was fixing those, I noticed
1: the magnet that goes under bow seat and tracks the stroke rating wasn't attached, so I had no idea how fast they were rowing
and
2: my head rest was about to fall out, because the bolts were loose.
I thought I had a solution to both of these things. I brought athletic tape with me, so bow seat used it to tape the magnet under her seat and I always have my adjustable wrench, so I turned around and tried to screw the headrest back into position.
No luck with either endeavor. Even with the magnet taped in place, the coxbox still wasn't getting a reading. And the bolts on the headrest? Rusted in place. A few minutes later, not only was my coxbox not timing the pieces or reading the stroke rates, it had given out ENTIRELY. No one could hear me, even though I was basically yelling as loud as I could the entire practice. I used the megaphone from the coaching launch for parts of the second half, but it was electronic, which means that if you're using it coxing in the wind, there's a terrible screeching noise. Not ideal.
On top of everything else, most of the boat were beginner rowers which meant that not being able to hear me left them confused and kind of panicked, even though considering how loud I was shouting, I think the rest of the world heard me.
Oh well.
At least coach was understanding that I was having a damn near impossible time what with the broken coxbox, the touchy megaphone, the novice rowers, and, oh yeah, did I mention the wicked crosswind? I guess that's the benefit of coxing masters teams over the summer. God knows, my own coaches would have decapitated me within the first fifteen minutes of today's practice.
Ah well,
There's a lesson here somewhere. And it's not Murphy's Law.
Although, lemme just restate that one: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, and all at the worst possible time, especially if you are a coxswain.
AND ROWERS SOMETIMES!!!! GAHHHHH
But no, gotta love 'em.
Like I said, coxing master's rowers is great.
I think the lesson here is actually you can't be prepared for everything and sometimes practice is just going to blow up in your face, so be flexible and roll with the punches. Or something.
On an only slightly related side note, THIS:
This is from Row2k.
If anyone can figure out how to recreate it, they will literally be my hero.
I never have cake for my birthday, cause I don't really like it at all. (I know, I'm weird. Something about the texture) But a coxbox cake would literally maybe be the coolest thing ever. Of course, Id probably still not eat it and just try to freeze it forever but hey, if I could figure out how ti make this, it'd be so worth it.
ah that's all
It's one am. I need to make myself go to bed... although honestly I am probably just going to look through rowing blogs.
ah, EMME, get a life!
