I am so worn down right now, it's not even funny. All I want is to go home and sleep under the covers for... oh... I don't know. Ever?
I'm having a rough
I feel really lonely sometimes. Even when I'm surrounded by friends. I guess I'm one of those people who think no one ever understands them. But I think a lot of the time, I'm right.
My mom always was very strict with me about how I should not be sharing my feelings with strangers. She had me play my cards close to my chest. That is one of the reasons I find it hard to talk to people, even today. Even people who are my friends. I know she was just trying to protect me, but sometimes carrying everything on your own two shoulders is a little bit too much.
This is part of the reason why I blog. On one level, I really love having this blog as a creative outlet. I'm into decorating it and constantly updating the technology, and linking my polyvore sets to it. But also, I have this blog so I can express myself.
I want to be able to have people read my writing. Writing is one of the few things I've ever had a natural talent for. Even when I was in grade school, my teachers praised me for coming up with the most creative stories, and believe me, as a kid at a parochial school with a learning disability, you did not get praised very often.
I'm not a business major , or advertising, or marketing major, so I can't say "branding" is something I think about a lot. (Are marketing majors and advertising majors the same things?) But what I can say is that this blog definitely "brands" my personality. It represents a lot of me, but not all of me. It's parts of me that are very important, surely, but not all the parts. I've boiled down my personality into something I can offer you as an outline, detailed, though it may be, of my personality. I don't really think it would be possible for a person to capture their whole personality with just one blog. Although maybe... I can't say I've every really tried.
So that's the reasoning behind my blog.
I try to be as much of a what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of blogger (and person, for that matter) and I try to represent as accurate a picture of my thoughts and my life as I can. On another level, I just want to know that someone, somewhere will read what I've wrote and that maybe someone will notice me and someone will be able to say I've impacted their life. I know that's a little schmaltzy, and I don't really know what this blog has to do with it, but it's my first step.
Anyway, that's all for tonight,
-Emme
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